i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
