We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
