There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
