I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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