If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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