I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
you never un-have a 4some
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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