escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
