My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
