I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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