Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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