She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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