What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
