btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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