Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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