Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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