"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
