Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I could fuck to npr.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
try to milk me bitch
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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