She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I need to align my fucking chakras
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