I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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