This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
