I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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