dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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