i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
