I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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