I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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