thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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