your parents love me but you hate me
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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