we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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