At least make sure they are 18
Why
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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