So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
