omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
