dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
