this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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