to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
