these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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