You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
