Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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