I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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