Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
