As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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