I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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