Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
