i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
