don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
