I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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