yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
