Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
