Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize