Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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