Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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