my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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