I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I AM VODKA MAN
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
