I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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