mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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