everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
