Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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