He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
