i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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