whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
