It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
