well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
