Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
