I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
