Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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