I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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